With "Hellboy II: The Golden Army," Mexican director Guillermo del Toro reenters the world of Mike Mignola's comic book series with mixed results. Flashier and noisier than 2004's "Hellboy," "Hellboy II" matches its predecessor in wit and action but falls short of bettering the earlier film, stumbling over clunky dialogue and cheesy romance. 

In an unnecessary introductory scene set in the 1950s, Hellboy's now-deceased adoptive father (John Hurt) reads an adolescent "Red" a bedtime story. He spins the tale of the Golden Army, 70 times 70 mechanical brutes created during a war between the magical beings and men. The Army is controlled by the possessor of a golden crown, at this time a king who realized the err of his ways after seeing the destruction caused at his hand. A truce was made with the men (trolls and elves would get the forests, men would get the cities), and the crown was broken into three pieces. The king's son, Prince Nuada, exiled himself from his father, disagreeing with him and believing that the race of men was weak and would lead to the world's end and vowing to return when his people truly needed him. Now that men have replaced much of the natural world with shopping malls and parking lots, Nuada is ready to make his return. 

Thus, in this second installment, Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and his buddy Abe Sapien (a fishlike creature played by Doug Jones) and his fireball girlfriend Liz Sherman (a brooding but ineffective Selma Blair) are called in after a mysterious man destroys an auction hall with flesh-craving creatures in order to steal a piece of the golden crown. The unlikely and bizarre heroes must track down the missing third piece before the evil Prince Nuada (Luke Goss) completes the crown and commands the Golden Army to do his will: destroy the human race. Also fighting on the humans' side is newcomer to the Paranormal agency is leader Johann Krauss (voiced by Seth McFarlane), a whisp of smoke contained in a mechanized suit that resembles a diving bell.

"Hellboy II," after "Wall-E," is the second major summer movie to bring up the "evil" nature of human consumerism and our race's tendency to destroy everything good on this planet. Nuada at one point battles Hellboy with a forest god, the last of its kind. The giant green creature dripping with vines and headed by the bud of a blooming flower grows out of a small jumping bean; Hellboy hesitates in destroying it (Nuada appears to remind our lead that he has more in common with this god than with humans) but ultimately does so, sending green goo pouring between buildings and over cars, and instantly creating a miniature rainforest with a mossy floor. It's unfortunate death is one of the most beautiful elements of the film: once destroyed, it's budding head blooms into a sweeping white flower. Though Hellboy kills the god in order to save the people, they soon turn on him, accusing him of endangering the life of a baby out of carelessness. Damn, we should think, we humans really do suck.

Political statements aside, "Hellboy II" is a visual orgy of special effects and CG creatures. The introductory tale of the Golden Army is more than a little similar to the prologue of "The Lord of the Rings," but del Toro makes up for the lack of originality by filming the sequence with stop-motion animated wooden puppets worthy of a Tim Burton film. The little critters that kill and devour the auction guests turn out to be tooth fairies, but not the kind with magic wands and a purse full of coins. They're blue and insect-like, praying mantises with rows of sharp teeth. While trying to find Prince Nuada, Hellboy and associates venture into the Troll Market, a sequence that most resembles the Tatooine bar scene in "Star Wars" on crack. Though they find the Prince's twin sister Nuala here, Abe and Hellboy are followed and attacked by Nuada's henchman, a giant warthog-looking creature with incredible strength and a mechanical hand. And finally, when the team comes upon the location of the Golden Army, it is a cavernous underground lair in which the aura of death hangs like a shroud. The soldiers themselves are massive machines with one setting: kill. The last battle sequence pits them against our heroes in an action-packed battle in which the Army rips, tears, crushes, and pulverizes; any damage caused to a soldier is instantly mended in an endless cycle of mythological hell. 

These Oscar-worthy visual effects and make-up artistry will surely instill a sense of confidence in Del Toro among "The Lord of the Rings" fans still worried about his ability to fill the furry feet left behind by Kiwi director Peter Jackson. However, this is only half of the film. What "Hobbit" anticipators have to worry about is the script. After triumphs like "Pan's Labyrinth" and "The Devil's Backbone," Del Toro disappoints his fans with banal dialogue and an unlikely romance worthy of a soap opera. It seems the bar scene from "Star Wars" isn't the only thing Del Toro stole from George Lucas. Whereas the first "Hellboy" took emotional cues from "Beauty and the Beast," resulting in a deeper character study of the big red guy with a tail who files his horns down to be more normal, "Hellboy II" insults viewers with stupid scenes like a discouraged Hellboy drinking beer in the shower to the tune of The Eels' "Beautiful Freak." 

Ron Perlman, who has made a career out of caking his chiseled features in outlandish makeup (it took 3-6 hours a day to become Hellboy), brings his brutish charm to the role. It seems that Hellboy is the first character that has allowed the actor to tap into his sense of humor; Perlman is able to create comedy out of even the most inane lines, and he also succeeds in slapstick physical comedy. Pay attention for his mano-a-mano fight with Krauss. Doug Jones, a Del Toro regular, provides movements to several of the creatures in addition to his role as Abe Sapien. He does a decent job of giving Abe a sensitive and intellectual voice, but falls short of the brilliant tone and wit of David Hyde Pierce, who voiced the fish-man in the first film. Luke Gross is perfectly sinister as Prince Nuada. Not many men can play a role seriously when dressed as an elf, especially when the make-up makes you look more like Marilyn Manson than Legolas, but Gross brings a necessary evil to Nuada's orange-eyed madness. 

Overall, "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" is dazzling to look at but not very memorable. Though it lives up to its predecessor in flash and action, the humor and charm is crushed by the film's wanting to take itself too seriously. Now that "Hellboy II" is complete and in theaters, Del Toro is free to begin work on the script for "The Hobbit." Here's to hoping that his next project is more "Pan's Labyrinth" than "Hellboy II."